One foot IN, One foot OUT: Goal Sabotage

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We all have dreams of a better life, things we want to do or achieve, or have. But many of these dreams will remain just that, a thought about where we want to be instead of where we ARE. Most people will give up these dreams and say, "it will never happen for me anyway, so whatever." And they are right. Here's why.

Commitment: The Fast and the Furious Society.

We want things and we want them NOW, with minimal effort and even less of a clue as to how we will procure the desired item/lifestyle, etc. As a society, the need for instant gratification is becoming more and more common when it comes to achievement, relationships, job success, and life in general.

Considering "instant gratification" is often used for behavioral change (think Applied Behavior Analysis, Pavlov's Dogs,etc) it isn't hard to understand the WHY for this behavior. Optimal results with the least amount of calories burned is rooted in our DNA as a "survival tool."

But this isn't an excuse in our world today. We are not cavemen anymore. We don't need to hunt in survival mode all day to stay alive (non-metaphorically speaking). For the most part, life is not as ambiguous as it was "back then." Sure, unpredictable things happen all the time. Tha'ts why "committing" is important. When you're committed in a relationship, a career, your children, you are better able to make decisions that DEAL with those unexpected situations, rather than to run around arms flailing in the wind, or to just give up altogether with the attitude of "oh well."

As the World Changes, We Must Change with It. 

Having made the statement about cavemen above, we as humans have an enormous brain capacity for problem solving. It seems little about ability at this point, and more about motivation. The problem lies in the fact that most people aren't motivated ENOUGH to make their dreams become reality. It takes day after day of perseverance and hard work, and BOTH FEET IN to the decision to become successful in whatever it is you want to be successful in. Motivation only takes you so far before COMMITMENT comes in to play. And as I stated before, commitment isn't something that many people are willing to "commit" to (pun intended). We are always keeping that "option" open for something "better": better job, better relationship, better gadgets,  better lifestyle, better life.

Reality Check

Living half-heartedly is not really living at all. You will always be in a constant "perceived" state of "transitioning". I am not talking about change. Everyone changes as they grow and learn, I am talking about feeling like you are forever WANTING, always WAITING... never living in the moment to truly improve your situation, and instead always having that one eye on the look out for the "perfect life."

Well...LIFE AIN'T PERFECT FOLKS...but life IS what we make it.

How To Live With Both Feet IN

Goal-Setting

Most people will never achieve their goals because they never set one. Goal setting is S.M.A.R.T. :
Specific
Measurable
Achievable (for you personally)
Relevant and Recorded
Time-Bound

If you"re goal is to make more money, that isn't really a goal. Ok, so you want to make more money, but what are you willing to do and HOW are you going to do this? Setting a specific goal is where people get confused. They know what they want (sometimes), but never want to make the changes necessary that will get them there. Change is scary, it takes effort and time, and if you aren't willing to give time and effort then ultimately you will stay where you are, still dreaming of making more money, and feeling stuck, and helpless.

Commitment to the Goal: Make a Decision 

I used to have the hardest time making decisions. I would outweigh every pro and every con until I drove myself crazy and neither choice looked particularly desirable. This made me feel stuck, which caused me to shut-down sometimes, and shutting down will never get you anywhere, especially not where you want to be.

Goal setting is simply making a decision, and committing to sticking with that decision NO MATTER WHAT.

A good example of a SMART goal would be:
Finishing your bachelor degree. Now that the goal is specific,
you can make it achievable. When you know the WHAT, the where, when and how will almost seem to just fall into place. Get the ball rolling by simply calling the school to find out what you need to do. Often times all you have to do is ask, and the answer will be given to you, so to speak.

Of course I am making this seem like its fast and easy, but like anything worthy or valuable, it takes effort on your part. In the example of going back to college, it will be on YOU to make it happen. YOU have to fill out the enrollment forms, YOU have to learn ways to pay for tuition (or to find out ways by doing the research for grants and scholarships, applying for those, calling your financial aid office, etc etc etc...) YOU have to sign up for the classes, and go through the bureaucratic red tape, YOU have to ATTEND the classes, and study, and take tests and SHOW up. It is a process, it is a commitment, you cannot be half in or you will fail.

 Usually it is not the short term problems people have issues with, its the daily grind. Stay focused on the present, on the task at hand, and go one minute at a time if you have to. Commit to the goal everyday.

Conclusion

Nothing in your life will ever seem worth while if you are only in it halfway. Commitment is scary, but ironically, commitment is also freedom. Don't waste anymore time, if you want something, go get it, both feet IN.